Dance, Dance, Dance

Skittle Alley preview, December 2006; photo by Chris Woltmann

First: Curbside Couch: Olive green, good condition, E 89 (Lex-Third). Hurry!!

Can you spare 10 bucks? If yes, experience the soaring rush of live dance Sunday at the Y. It started in 2000 when Christopher Caines gathered six dancers friends, two singers, and a pianist to perform his ARIAS (dances set to music running the gamut -- from Faure to Gershwin). It's since grown to a ten-dancer troupe that continues to probe deeper into sound exploration through movement.

Who: Christopher Caines Dance Company
What: Dancing with Music in Mind
Where: 92nd St. Y (Lex-Third)
When: 3:00 pm
Cost: $10

Of course, if you opt for Frisbee in Central Park instead no one will fault you.

See you there!

Your Girl About Town

Iron Out Wrinkles

Red-Hot Trend Alert: Apparently, daily facial stretches may work as well as collagen to stretch out wrinkles (at a fraction of the cost). New York Health & Racquet -- you know, the UES fitness club boasting the hot tub, steam room, and sauna -- has a new class.

Open wide, stick out your tongue, and say "Revita." It's facial yoga that's said to combat sags, frown lines, and those other pesky lines webbing across our faces.

According to an article in The Times, though, some docs with expertise in face physiology wouldn't bet the farm on the technique.

Others cited in the article, a UES facial surgeon, an NY yogi, and Manhattan dermatologist Dr. Dennis Gross expressed doubts about the stretches ability to permanently erase wrinkles.

Gross, however, did mention temporary improvements saying "facial stretches and yoga temporarily reduce the neurological impulses associated with stress and the grimaces that lead to the lines in your forehead," as reported by Alix Strauss in The Times.

That could be benefit enough to keep classes full.

Check out Alix Strauss's well-reported article Here. But, beware-- the accompanying photos may induce a few laugh lines...

The class is so new, it's just being offered at this location:

Where: New York Health & Racquet: 115 E. 57th St. (Lex-Park)
When: Friday's 6:30pm-7:30pm
Cost: *Go with a gym member and pay $20. No member friends? It'll cost $50
Call: 212-826-9650

Your Girl About Town

Two Words

Shhhhh: Can you keep a secret?

Akoya Afrobeat.

This NYC-based band is pure thunder. I haven't heard live music with a sound so full and lively in ages.

Congos + Horns + Bass + Voice = Delicious funk. Contagious energy. Overwhelming sound.

Beware: These rhythms will swallow you whole. Prepare to surrender.

****
There we were on Saturday night at Rose at 345 Grand St. in Williamsburg.

When they started setting up congos, I had an inkling it was going to be a show.

As more and more band members spilled onto the stage, I had a feeling it was going to be good.

And oh, was it ever. If the United Nations had a band, a band that could jam, this would be it.

Sample the sound here
And Here and Here
More, you say? Check this

And, hey, don't say I didn't warn you.

Your Girl About Town

Free Yoga, Better World

In the name of love ... for the planet... the neighborhood yogaworks is giving away a free yoga class to those who give greener living a go. You not only help save the planet, you save 20 bucks.

Each time you complete one of these Earth-friendly tasks, check it off the list. When your "green" card's full, take it in to yogaworks (1319 Third Avenue, 2nd Fl) to redeem your free class.

Consider it your science homework:

_____Lower your thermostat by two degrees: Making this slight adjustment could save some 2,000 lbs. of CO2 a year.

_____Unplug not-in-use electronics: Even in off mode, TVs, lamps, hairdryers, and cd chargers eat up energy. Pulling the plug can prevent millions of tons of carbon from entering the atmosphere.

_____Buy fresh, not frozen. Frozen food production zaps 10 times more energy. (Plus, between you and me, fresh just tastes better, crisper).

_____Read credit card statements online, not on hand. Americans could conserve 18.5 million trees a year by making the switch. That's a lot of tree-climbing for the little ones .

_____Walk to Yoga with a friend or two. The more calm, centered folk pacing the streets, the better.

Not keen on twisting your body into pretzel shapes and breathing like fire?

You can still Be a Green Hero. Check out these Web sites from where these tips came:stopglobalwarming.org and idealbite.com

Your Girl About Town

Upper East Side Softball

Came across this UES ad today and it made me laugh. And I quote:

"we are a young team in our 20s and 30s looking for a star player. we are a championship caliber team needing that one extra star to put us over the top. we play in an all men's league in central park. sunday games starting late mornings and early afternoons for the rest of the spring and summer. whats your pedigree? which college did you star at? how old are you? doesn't matter what position you play, you just need to be a stud with the bat and glove. is that you? contact me."

Key Words:

Star Player

Championship Caliber

Extra Star

What's Your "Pedigree?"

Which College Did You Star At?

Be A Stud With The Bat And Glove

No shortage of confidence there.

But, did he have to use the word "Pedigree"?

I've met this guy. No, not this exact guy, but I've met guys who sound just like him. And, I keep running into them.

Here's how the cocktail party convo typically starts:

"Hello, I'm Mr. Prize Pedigree." (slight pause and head tilt as he awaits the oooo and ahhhh 'how impressive' look)

"Who are you? What do you do? Where do you work? Where did you go to school?"

Translation: Are you, or is your family, important? Who do you know? Will knowing you and your friends help me make more money, faster?

Of course, I could just be jaded. It could just be nice-and-easy chatter does it.

Not sure which is more vexing: inane small-talk or the resume prober/sizer upper.

What do you think?

YGAT

Run Club

Coming out of hibernation mode, the legs can wobble a bit. Ease back into endorphin-pumping striders' gear with the Niketown Running Club.

Lace up Tuesdays or Thursdays at 6:30 p.m. at Niketown: E. 57th St. and Fifth

Join in a group and opt to run -- or walk if you're legs are post-winter shaky -- 3, 5, or 7 miles.

After, hobnob with your new running buddies at the refreshments table.

Bonus: It's the last week of March -- time for the monthly new-running-shoes raffle.

More of a crowd at the Tuesday night run/walk. So, see you there?

Your Girl About Town

Embracing Flakiness

Been outside yet? It's gorgeous! Runners are pounding it. Spring is doing its thing and zapping this place back to life. Hit up that reservoir. Hit it up!

Wednesday night was my fifth and final pitching class. Sob. The onus is on the students now. Teacher did his job and laid the seeds of knowledge about the process that be. We started a listserv to keep informed with the rejections, the rewrites, the scores.

Our teacher delivered these parting words of advo as he sent us out there:

"Well, you know what they say about writers .... They think we're all flakes. So, if you can not be flaky, you'll do just fine."

The room shook with laughter.

Until the heads started scanning the room -- who was the flakiest of us all?

As you have, I had heard the word flaky before.

Even still, I felt compelled to look up the exact definition when I got home. I had heard writers called neurotic and sensitive, yes. With egos, well sure.

But, flaky? The connotation seemed a tad negative.

Flake n : A markedly eccentric person: ODDBALL -- flak-i-ness n -- flaky adj

Eccentric, I'll take. But, did Webster have to go so far as ...Oddball?

In all caps , no less? (Yes, grab your dictionary and see for yourself)

So the question comes down to, are you Ok with embracing this club and career -- knowing full well that when you say the W word, minds will be spinning images of what your neurotic oddball self really does "at work"?

It's not their fault. I mean, what kind of idea did we give them with "The Shining?" With each tick of the typewriter that guy was poking deeper away from reality. I mean, that guy was in the zone some twenty days straight.

I prefer a flaky that's less oddball and more this:

One who occasionally forgets about the pieces of bread in the toaster. He or she tends to analyze every single word of every conversation incessantly wondering 'but what does it mean?' (coming up with ten possible answers). Or, one who starts to see anything and everything as a story. In fact, someone who takes that on as a personal challenge. What happened today -- in the news, on the walk to the store, in line at the bank, over dinner conversation. We may be quiet sometimes, but we're taking it alllll in. And, who knows when we'll make sense of it -- could be tomorrow ... or ten years from today.

All told, some of us may have a little pack rat in us, holding onto leaves, rocks, slips of paper, torn out quotes and pictures of places for the positive sentimental charge they release when we look at them. And, well, some of us may not be the neatest of folk. We're more...creative.

But, you can't rewrite Websters now can you? So, oddball it will have to be.

Our teacher was the no-nonsense, no excuses type. That's what I liked about him most. I always left class feeling pumped about ideas as I walked through blinking Times Square, knowing that to a certain extent the future is up to me.

After class, it was to the Auction House I went with a few friends.

If you haven't yet been to this place it's at E. 89th St. (First-Second). I really like it. It just might be my new favorite neighborhood bar.

Have a cramped apartment? Head to the back room and sit in the maroon-colored armchair at the center of the room. You'll feel like a Queen. It's kinda dark. Very relaxed. This is no sports bar or college bar. The crowd is looking dapper in casual dresses and suit coats over tee shirts. Good music. A lizard lounge that's more style and less slink.

My friend announced there the news of her internship in LA with MALDEF. Hooray! It was a toss-up between that and Nepal, a destination more alluring to her since she's a California native. And, a place where I wouldn't have minded visiting her this summer!

But, I guess most of us change at some point and stop seeking immediate gradification. Decisions instead are made in terms of long-term goals and what skills we'll actually gain -- will those skills get you closer to the prize? And, priorities shift. Her family lives out in LA so it makes sense to spend time near them this summer.

Her boyfriend gave me men advice. He's adroit in all matters men. We have a nice set-up going. I tell him what a man said or did, and he explains to me the male perspective and motive. He's fond of telling me when he thinks a move is calculated or spontaneous, genuine or not. And K will tell me straight up if he likes or dislikes a guy with whom I'm spending time. This is no paper-thin analysis. Since he's a law student it's not "I don't know why, I just like that guy," it's more "here are the specific reasons why you and he make a good match." Really, I should be paying him a consultation fee. He's saved me from a few dating snafus, that's sure.

The old man living upstairs from me is suffering from full-on dementia. His condition has worsened in the past few weeks. Right now, he's screaming his lungs out:

"Turn off the heat. Turn off the heat! It's summertime. Turn off the (*&^% )(*& heat."

He'll be doing that all day and into the night.

Poor thing. And, poor woman he keeps yelling at.

Hell gettin' old, I 'spose. So, hit up that reservoir! If your legs are working, hit it up.

Got to run. Baby shower, birthday party, band out in Williamsburg.

Your Girl About Town

Watch that Wallet...Or What?

So, apparently Barnard College did a study on NYC neighborhoods to see how many lost/dropped wallets would be returned in each.

The research crew faux-dropped 132 wallets in the Bronx, Chelsea, City Hall, Crown Heights, Harlem, and the Upper East Side. New York magazine reported that only two wallets disappeared. The others were left on the sidewalk or returned. Read more about it here

The two that were taken and not returned had been dropped on the Upper East Side. Thus, we are to assume certain things about people in general, and people on the Upper East Side. What loot was inside the lost wallets? A metro card, four measly bucks, and a business card containing a phone number and address of its fake owner.

Well, I've just got to jump in right here and comment loud and clear on this one.

I'm so tired of people trying to have us believe that the world is innately bad and that human nature and people are dishonest and don't deserve the benefit of the doubt.

I don't buy it. And, I never will. Optimism and believing in people has been good to me. And, I'm not going all sour now because of two unreturned wallets. What's with this message that's being sent to the public?

Believe me, I have often asked myself why I believe so much in people, and why I am so optimistic about human nature and life in general.

In the face of Barnard's planned research, I have three real-life unplanned research stories to tell.

Each time I have left a personal possession behind or forgotten it in NYC, it has been returned to me. Two times on the UES, once in a cab headed for the Bronx. So, a total of three incidents where the stranger was citizen martyr.

Here's my two bits. You can decide for yourself how to live your life.

1) On my way to a Road Runners office to pick up my bib number for a race in Central Park, my Florida license fell out of my sock. On it, there was no indication that I lived on the Upper East Side -- or anywhere in NYC for that matter. A woman picked it up at 9am that Saturday. She and her friend, both in their 50s, researched on the Internet that day until they found me. She found my e-mail address, and contacted me to tell me she had my license. We met for coffee. I brought her a candle and thanked her. She gave me back my license.

2) I was at Staples about two weeks ago. In a flash, I had to make two copies of a very important document. I remembered to collect the document before leaving, but, in my haste, left my ATM card in the copy machine. N0w, we all know how easily the next person could have used my inserted ATM card to make his or her copies. Or he or she could have taken the ATM card (who ever asks for id when you use your ATM card these days??). But, no.

When I got to the bank to withdraw money from the ATM, I realized I had left it at Staples. By the time I walked back, just a few blocks, the young woman who was using the photo copy machine where I had been making copies had already returned my ATM card to the cashier ... who promptly handed it back to me. There had been no reward for her. She just did it.

3) This one is a doozie. Brace yourself. I didn't ever want to tell anyone about this because I felt foolish. But, I am going to tell you, because it is true, it happened, and it is really moments like these that give me utter faith in human beings and flip the human nature scales to good, for good (for me, at least).

One night I was out with friendly Ex and Co. and was toting this cool bag with big flower motifs on it. A cool makeshift purse -- that didn't close. It had not a zipper, button, or snap on it. (Friendly Ex enjoyed pointing this out the next day "That was not a purse and you shouldn't use it as one anymore! Come on, it doesn't even close," he said, meaning well.)

In a cab ride home the night before, my wallet had fallen out. The whole wallet. Now, to put this in perspective, that's two credit cards, one debit card, one Florida license, cash, a card with my bank account number written on it, a metro card...and a business card with my name and phone number on it.

If you can believe this, I got a call the next day.

The woman said her name was Anna. She was calling me from the Bronx. She had found my wallet in a cab on her way home and wanted to return it to me. She asked if she could bring it to me or meet me somewhere.

Huh? She had found my license, wanted to return it, and was offering to come and meet me, the foolish one??

Don't be ridiculous, I said. I thanked her profusely and said I would go to the Bronx to pick it up.

"You have done so much already just calling me," I said.

It was my first trip to the Bronx. Friendly Ex went with me (he's such a nice fella. Plus, I think he felt bad for making me feel even worse about having lost my wallet).

We took the subway way uptown and were about to get onto a bus to meet Anna.

I called her to let her know that we were boarding the bus.

She insisted that instead she come to pick us up.

When she said that, I insisted that we take her to dinner. It was the least I could do to thank her for being such a nice person. And to thank Friendly Ex for going with me.

Friendly Ex was patient, but bored. We sat in the bus station for about an hour. We just talked and watched people. There were a lot of people and things to watch.

She picked us up in front of a perfumerie. We got in the new-smelling car, turns out it was a rental, in the back next to the car seat where her daughter, Ema, was sitting eating chips.

She and her partner, Maria, told us that they used to live in the Bronx, but had recently moved to Florida with their daughter (who was sitting next to us in the back seat). They would be returning to Florida the next day.

What timing. And, luck. And, maybe something else but I can't be sure what.

We parked and walked the sidewalk to a Dominican Restaurant.

They spoke in Spanish there and Friendly Ex asked questions -- what was this about a beer made in the Dominican? He just had to try it. The waitress asked for his order in Spanish, and Anna translated. We were all actually having fun, with these complete strangers in this unknown (to us) area of NYC. Friendly Ex made goo-goo eyes at Ema. She gurgled with delight and put her finger on his nose like it was a buzzer or a button.

There was no meal on the menu for more than $4.

Chicken, lamb, beef ... with rice and beans.

Nothing topped $4.

I thought about our first date at Philippe -- I couldn't recall an entree on the menu costing less than $48 (for two people).

My stomach turned a bit.

We all sat there and talked and had a meal together. They told us how their life had been in the Bronx -- Ana had had enough when one day she had to duck from bullets flying into her own apartment. She just couldn't raise her daughter there.

Her partner Maria suffered a serious nerve injury when her hand got stuck in a conveyor belt.

They were actually back in the Bronx on workman's comp related business.

They really liked Florida and couldn't wait to get back. They had been able to buy a house. And, establish a safer life for their 22-month-old daughter. One of the women worked a day shift, the other a night shift, and in that way, they were finally getting ahead. There were no more drive-by shootings. There wasn't any more living in shambles. They had found, or made, a happier life.

The dinner for all of us, plus Friendly Ex's two Dominican beers cost $40.

I felt horrible. This just wasn't enough to pay them back.

Anna handed over my wallet. Not a credit card had moved from its proper slot, not a dollar bill had been touched, not a metro card misplaced.

I was touched. Truly. Deeply. I took out all the cash and handed it to her. Here, please, take this I said. It wasn't much. It wasn't enough.

Anna took it and said, "Here, let's leave it on the table for the waitress."

As we were walking back to the car, Anna told me her philosophy on life. That she just has to believe the best in people and live the best life she can live. She mentioned God. She mentioned her mother. She didn't preach. She just threw these influences out there that had shaped her life actions and made her the person she was.

This was a real-life Oprah experience.

Friendly Ex and I were changed for it.

It was obvious that they could have really used that extra money.

But didn't.

It took us an hour on the subway to get back to Manhattan. We took the local.

We kept saying over and over again how amazing it was that those two women -- on vacation -- who had once been crouching away from bullets -- took the time and effort to call me and return the license.

We made a pact right then and there in that subway car of human decency, that whenever we'd find something lost, we, too, would go that extra mile to return it.

Because that's how it works.

Call it Karma. Call it good fortune. Or Luck.

I live my life believing in other people. And, I have truly been touched by their goodness and kindness. Laugh it off, if you must, but this is what my life experience has been.

I get miffed when other people try to tell me that people are bad.

And, I feel sorry for others who might judge a single-sex couple just by looking at them, or the character of a person by where they live or the way they talk, walk, or dress.

Yes, I feel sorry for people who live in fear with closed minds. Because I know the spectacular, moving, sporadically adventurous moments those people have missed out on. I'd venture to say they miss out on a lot of life -- and the lessons it brings.

So, that's what my research has shown.

I know people are decent. They just need to be given half a chance.

Pitty on you, silly pessimistic scowling kind. Take a dose of that optimism and sip it down slow.

Live from the Upper East Side,

Your Girl About Town

Just Like Spring

Whoa, Nelly! I'm back, gang.

Didya miss me?

Back in town and still on Island time -- lagging a bit, but smiling all the while.

I've been way too friendly on the sidewalks about town, my spirits so lifted and made shiny by the sun. Went to the bank, greeted the teller, "Hey, how's it going today?"

She looked at me like I was a little loopy.

So, maybe you can't physically travel -- bogged down by work. Take a trip through the canvas to ... Istanbul ... at this UES Opening Reception Tonight: "Istanbul: City of Dreams"

Where: The Marmara Gallery: 301 E. 94th St. (Second Avenue)
When: 6pm-8pm
Painter: DIMITER HRISTOFF

PS. Have you been to "3 Guys"?

It's at 960 Madison.

I had never heard of it until I was reading this book on vaycay entitled "Class Matters."

On my own whim, I wouldn't have read it, but my friend, the psychology almost-doc had it with her, so I read it. And, boy were my eyes popping. Basically, it asks people if they still believe in The American Dream -- if they think it's still possible in the current state of affairs to rise up through the rungs of the class ladder from low, to middle, to upper-middle class.

It's a riveting testament to the power of enterprise reporting (those reporters combed the sidewalks for a year). It gets at understanding the social stratification and subtleties of class existing in the U.S. and how they affect everything from education to how a salary is spent to medical treatment to mingling and country-clubbing it.

For example, did you know that some of the wealthiest Americans cannot join the "old money" country clubs? They're too nouveau riche. According to a theory in the book, the newbies' lavish spending habits and personal jets may threaten an old money crew that may harbor a fear that they will not be able to continue making money. Whereas, the newly rich may be more confident in their ability to make money because they made it all themselves, they're self-made with inner drive to boot.

So, what did the newbies do? Well, they formed their own country clubs, some with entrance fees as high as $350,000.

Makes for some heated debate and conversation, as Emily and I discovered.

The book is awash in anecdotes gathered by a handful of top-notch journalists from our very own "New York Times" -- which, by the way, I was aghast to see is not sold in The Starbucks of the Charlotte airport, or for that matter, the magazine shop, replaced by ... "USA Today". Ehh?

My friend, the psychologist, said it may be because "The Times" may be too high-brow and has too many big words.

Dang it dumbing down the media! What's wrong with being sent to the dictionary once in a while to learn a new word or two?

Anyways, I'm so back. And, so back at it. Woooooo.

Have a pulchritudinous day, y'all ... ;)

See you at the opening tonight.

Your Girl About Town

Holiday

So, remember that New Year's Resolution about taking a trip with my college roommate?

Well, it's not the Dominican, or Peru, but I'm flying out at 8:30am, heading on the Super Shuttle to La Guardia at 5:15am on my way to to St. John.

Revival. Revival.

Still no laptop. Seems Dell gave UPS the wrong zip -- 10028 instead of 10128 -- and instead of oh, I don't know, the driver calling to ask about the mix-up (these two zips are within blocks of each other) they decided instead not to deliver the package despite repeated calls and an offer to go and pick it up from the holding center. Isn't that fun? So, I get to pick it up in the Bronx on March 13 ... or it's shipped back to Dell.

It is definitely time to thaw out for a week in the sun. Revive. Rejuvenate. Refresh. Resoul. Hike the lush national park of the Virgin Islands. Catch up with an old college friend. Bask in the sun on the dove-white swaths of sand as pure as salt.

I can taste the salt water already. Mmmmm tastes so fresh.

Check in on other resolutions:

Two Books: Check (Read freakonomics -- it's fascinating!)
Fish: Not Yet
Vaycay: On My Way
Pitches: Started my pitching class but no pitches -- busted laptop(dang it timing !!!)
Credit Cards: Two massive payments, one is just about paid off, but not officially, no quite yet (yep, had to spend a chunk of cash on buying a new laptop and an airfare -- woooo!)

So, see you all in a week.


Your Girl About Town

NY Senators Speak to Packed House

One thing I love about living here, in NYC, on the UES, is the upfront access to esteemed movers-&-shakers, thinkers-&-doers. It's one thing to watch the writers, politicians, entrepreneurs, musicians, and actors you admire -- or despise -- on TV. It's an entirely different thing to see and hear them up close and personal -- just a few rows in front of you. The experience engages. It spells out possibility. It connects you to the world of ideas and issues that matter. Maybe you can't live on a college campus the rest of your life ... but you can live in NYC and stimulate your mind just as readily.

Already, anticipation for the upcoming presidential election boils over.

After the Bush/Gore debacle, many young people in my grad school program feared that American voters would become apathetic -- that those who had been won over to vote for the first time, convinced that their vote mattered, would again be lost.

I remember sitting in magazine editing class the day the election results were announced amidst drooping faces and a few tearful classmates. They felt let down by the system, and many of these Americans, younger than thirty years old, feared for the future of the country.

These were young people who sopped up news like sponges, scouring at least two newspapers (one local, one national) daily in preparation for unannounced news quizzes. And, while there were glowing faces in that classroom, as well, happy with the results, the tears are what I remember most. That image stuck with me -- that these twenty-somethings had felt so affected by the election.

They cared. Whatever you call it, The Bush Victory, The Gore Defeat, hit them with a thud. It was a historical moment.

As a class, we crowded around a TV to watch Gore's defeat speech.

I'd like to see a few of those classmates of years past, who were then teetering on the edge of hopelessness, now, as the country approaches the next presidential election.

Because, if the sold-out turnout at the 92nd St. Y to see Senators Hillary Rodham Clinton and Charles (Chuck) Schumer is any indication, politics is not dead, and the public has grown anything -- outraged, disappointed, worried, anxious, confused -- but apathetic.

He's been called by some the "hero" of the new Democratic majority in the US Senate. In 2000, she became the only First Lady of the United States elected to public office. Now, she is in the running for president.

UES residents came out in droves to see the political duo appear side-by-side at the Y. It was heartening to see so many parents with their teen and adult children attend the event together.

Schumer spoke about his new book, "Positively American: Winning Back the Middle-Class Majority One Family at a Time." He was joined briefly by Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton who introduced him to the crowd.

A swarm of photographers moved down the aisles. They snapped photos relentlessly at Clinton when she stood at the podium. Twenty six community centers across the nation tuned in.

Clinton was the first political heavyweight to appear on stage.

A palpable excitement -- of seeing a candidate for the presidency of the United States live and in person -- filled the air.

The 40ish man sitting next to me let out a "Woooooo" when she took her place at the podium.

The woman next to him inched up to the edge of her seat and gripped the back of the seat in front of her. Applause ricocheted throughout the auditorium.

These New Yorkers seemed to adore their senators.

Clinton was in a playful mood. She made one joke after the next, about how much Schumer, the senior senator, liked his publicity... and how he sustained his round-the-clock diligence with a constant influx of Chinese food. She mentioned the book title idea she had offered him: "How to Keep Congress, Win the White House ... and Achieve a Perfect SAT Score."

But, after the laugh lines, Clinton had a strong message:

"Despite what some may say, politics matter."

After she introduced her colleague and sung his praises, she exited the stage. After all, this was his book party, not hers.

Schumer thanked her for the appearance and announced his support of her candidacy, saying, "I am proud to be supporting Hillary for the presidency."

The gist of Schumer's talk and his book was that the middle class is feeling uneasy. And, the middle class is up for grabs in the upcoming presidential election.

Schumer has long been a proponent of the middle class, who has said he makes his decisions based on what the fictional Joe and Eileen Bailey of Long Island would want him to do (apparently there's a 10-page description of the Bailey's, who are not Democrats or Republicans, but Independents, in the book.)

The middle class is now on shaky ground. Whereas in the 80s they were confident in their future and even more confident in their kids' futures, today they fear for their future, and worry even more for their kids' futures, said Schumer.

Democrats, he said, need a strong platform and vision.

"Bush won the election with eight words: War in Iraq, cut taxes, no gay marriage. Each policy was tied to a deep value. What will the eight words be for the Democrats in '08?"

Schumer wrote the book, he said, because of the dearth of debate he was seeing on such strategic questions.

He outlined 11 goals, each a 50% increase of something or 50% decrease of something (50% fewer Cancer deaths, for example), that the Democratic party should aim to achieve -- and be held accountable for -- over the next ten years.

While he didn't cover all 11 goals at the lecture, he did delve into two topics: Education and Immigration.

"Our schools ranked 17th in the world for Math," said Schumer, "just below Greece."

He proposes that "certain" teachers - of mathematics and science - be paid higher salaries than teachers of other subjects. This additional salary would be supplemented by the federal government over five years and conditional on high test scores of teachers in those subjects.

Already, said Schumer, the NY Teachers' Union has shown support for this initiative.

On immigration, Schumer proposes increasing legal immigration by 50% and reducing illegal immigration by 50%.

His plan to do so involves issuing national employment cards to all American citizens which would contain a chip identifying the retina of the card holder's eye. Scanners would be used in the hiring process to ensure a job applicant was a US citizen.

Under his proposal, employers who would hire illegal aliens would be slapped with a $50,000 fine, on first offense, and jail time, on second offense.

For details on the rest of the 11 goals suggested to the Democratic party to win back the middle class, well, said Schumer, you'll have to ... read the book. (Indeed, Schumer was adroit at book selling)

After the talk, he took questions from the audience.

Viewers from Dayton, Ohio and Boca Raton, Florida issued forth questions.

One viewer asked what can be done to speed up sending UN Peacekeepers to Darfur, and another asked who Schumer sees as the most formidable Republican candidate in the '08 election.

As for Darfur, he responded that the US should work multi-laterally to address Darfur's needs ... but that the US can not embed itself in every civil war around the globe.

Of course, one might argue that Darfur is not just any 'ole civil war, but more a devastating genocide causing loss of human life on a massive, traumatizing scale.

While he didn't give specific names of Republican candidates, he did say this:

"Republicans may have a vision and plan that is out of date ... but if Democrats don't have any answer or a plan at all, then something is better than nothing."

No one asked Schumer the hardball question: His reaction to the Village Voice cover story, "While Schumer Slept", by Kristen Lombardi, that criticized him (as senior senator) for taking a back seat to Clinton (as junior senator) in addressing the post-911 health problems striking a large number of his constituents -- Ground Zero first responders and relief workers.

As the presidential '08 elections gain momentum, keep your eye on the calendar of events at the 92nd St. Y. It's sure they'll pack a roster of candidates from all political parties to speak about their platforms and plans for the future of the country.

Upcoming Political Speakers:

John Kerry & Teresa Heinz Kerry: March 12, 8:00 p.m.

Al Gore: May 24, 8:00 p.m.

See you there you engaged, passionate Upper East Siders.

Your Girl About Town